She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
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Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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