Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize