I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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