Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I FOUND THE LEGS
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