If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
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i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize