I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
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