Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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