I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize