one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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