Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
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The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
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I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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