somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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