oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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