Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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