Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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