Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize