It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize