Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
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The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
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I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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