Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
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I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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