hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize