...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
my poor anus
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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