if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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