What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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