Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
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Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
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He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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