Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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