question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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