i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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