so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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