I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
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I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
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This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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