I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize