After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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