i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize