I puked a lego.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
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just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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