I accidentally burped into my bong.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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