Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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