I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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