I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
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we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
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Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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