I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
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i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
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Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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