Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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