There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize