I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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