So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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