there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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