Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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