I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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