I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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