just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize