I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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