Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
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The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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