I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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