I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
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No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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